They Share EVERYTHING!
by Satori Blackthorn
Summary: This is a spinoff from two of my favourite books and only kind of screwed, but that's okay. This is my first LOTR fic and concerns Frodo and Legolas, enjoy!


They Share EVERYTHING!

Disclaimer – the characters aren't mine, the original idea is not mine. I praise both JRR Tolkien and Robert Munsch so please do not sue. Thank you!

A/N This is a spin-off from "We Share Everything", by Robert Munsch and would probably make more sense if you read that first, or it might not. Please keep in mind this is my first LOTR fic ever and more than likely none of my future fics will be like this, but if there are any reader who like it… eh, I might do another. I figured I had to write it as I was struck by a random act of inspiration that would probably never grace me with its presence again…Please don't hate me,

Satori 

~ 

On their very first day at Rivendell, when they didn't know what to do, Frodo and Legolas walked into the library and Legolas picked up a book.

Frodo walked over to him and said, "Give me that book!"

Legolas said, "No I won't give you this book, you half-thing of a man. I'm looking at this book."

So Frodo tried what always worked with his Uncle Bilbo when he wouldn't let his go raid mushrooms with Merry and Pippin. He said, "If you don't give me that book you pointy-eared blonde, I am going to yell and scream!"

"Too bad!" Legolas said.

So Frodo opened with mouth really wide, or at least as wide as it can be possible for a Hobbit, and screamed:

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Legolas stuck the book in his mouth.

Flumph!

Frodo said, "Gawck!"

Gandalf came running over and said,

"Now LOOK! You're in Rivendell. In Rivendell we share. We share EVERYTHING!"

"All right, all right, all RIGHT!" said Legolas and Frodo.

Later Frodo was building a replica of the Shire with small pieces of wood and stone he had found in one of the gardens.

Legolas came over and said, "Give me those building piece things, Frodo."

"I won't give you the pieces Legless," said Frodo, "I'm building the Shire."

So Legolas tried what worked with his friends in Mirkwood, "If you don't give me those you vertically challenged mophead, I am going to kick them down!"

"Too bad!" said Frodo.

So Legolas kicked the miniature scale model of the Shire made from small pieces of wood and stone.

CRASH!

Pieces flew everywhere.

Legolas yelled as they hit him on the head.

"Ow, ouch, OW!" 

And then he started cursing in Elvish and Frodo couldn't understand any more of it.

Then Gandalf and Elrond came running over in a flurry of flowers, butterflies and fluffy pink bunnies.

"Now, LOOK!" They said, oddly synchronized. "You're in Rivendell. In Rivendell we share. We share EVERYTHING!"

"All right, all right, ALL RIGHT you deranged, ancient, pixie-stick sniffing freaks! ALL RIGHT!" Legolas and Frodo yelled.

So Frodo and Legolas went to paint.

"I'm first!" Frodo said.

"No I'm first!" Legolas shot back.

"If you don't let me go first," siad Frodo, "I am going to yell and scream."

"Too bad!" replied Legolas.

Because they didn't really want to agree, Frodo and Legolas both went first. Paint went flying all over the balcony, the beautiful, rare, sweet-smelling flowers and all over any elves standing within a ten metre radius.

And all over Frodo and Legolas.

The paint got in Frodo's eye.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled Frodo, as loud as he could, which was pretty loud, despite his small stature.

Then Gandalf, Elrond and all of the other representatives in Rivendell who were going to the council came running over, arms flailing and an unnatural percentage of their pearly-white toothpaste advertisement movie star teeth shining brightly in the sun. 

"Now, LOOK!" they chorused together. "You're in Rivendell. In Rivendell we share. We share EVERYHING!"

So Frodo looked over to Legolas and said, "okay, Legolas, we are supposed to share. What are we going to share?"

"I don't know," said Legolas.

"Let's share… let's share… let's share our shoes!"

"Good idea." Legolas said, "Wait! You hobbits don't wear shoes!" 

"Oh, yeah. Then… let's share… let's share our … shirts!"

So they shared their shirts, and Frodo said, "Look at this! A green tunic worn by none other than Prince Legolas! No other hobbit has ever worn THIS shirt!"

"Whatever floats your boat," Legolas replied. Frodo twitched. Legolas didn't notice. "This is fun! Let's share… let's share… let's share our pants!"

So the two of them traded pants.

"Wow!" said Frodo. "Really, really ,REALLY long-legged pants!"

Then Gandalf came back and said, "oh Frodo and Legolas, you're sharing! An you're learning how to act in Rivendell without COMPLETELY embarrassing your race, and you're being really grown up, and Legolas, I really like your new… shorts!? Legolas where did you get those hideously ugly, short, tight (at this remark all the females present drooled appreciatively, admiring his tight ass) shorts?"

"Hey!" retorted Frodo, "those are MINE, they're not ugly!"

"It's okay," Legolas replied to Gandalf, ignoring Frodo's outburst, "Frodo and I shared clothes. Though I must admit, they are fairly restrictive…" (more drooling on behalf of the women)

Gandalf yelled, "What have you done? What in all of Middle-Earth could have given you the idea to share your clothes?"

Suddenly an evilly glowing, red, yellow and orange fiery eye appeared floating in the sky.

"Sauron!" everyone screamed, cowering.

"From me!!!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

the end… 


End file.
